So what's a super hero without an origin story? Nothing. Just some batshit crazy dbag in a cape. And while I may wear a cape when drunk enough, I'm no dbag...so here's ours:
-- August 2003 --
The
giant blackout had just ended (which sucked, because I really enjoyed seeing the Milky Way in downtown Toronto...), and my best friend and I were first in line to see
Evil Dead: The Musical at the
Tranzac. (I just want to point out, this was the opening run of the show. Back when it was a bunch of recent grads operating out of a bar in the Annex...hey I get street cred when I've earned it...) This was when the Boy and I first met, except that we didn't talk or fall in love or anything exciting like that.
No, he went to the early show with some friends and caught the subway home, but my friend & I had no fear of the
blueline to get us home, so we went to the late show. And we passed at the doors, like zombiefied nerds in the night...
-- September 2004 --
I'm in film school, naturally I decide to be a keener and volunteer at the Toronto Film Fest. Mainly because
Midnight Madness is the shit, AND because volunteers used to get to watch the film & get 2 free movie vouchers per shift.
Anyways, I arrive for my shift, and the theatre is a mass of screaming 13yr old girls, all squealing for Orlando Bloom and ignoring Bill Paxton (which was wholly unfair, because Bill Paxton is pretty freakin awesome...). So I end up having to help the control the line, and I end up chatting with this nice guy with red hair (zomg! The Boy!) and a really confused old guy. The line moves and that's that.
-- Several Weeks Later --
I get a job as an extra in
George A. Romero's
Land of the Dead. This is the highlight of my working life...Still. I go for my costume fitting and this red headed guy in a bright blue sweater and purple plaid pants is getting measured...geez, he looks familiar...
-- October 2004 --
The filming date was pushed back, and now I have to choose between being a zombie or seeing Morrissey....yes my own personal Sophie's Choice. Well, I sacrifice zombie glory and get my Moz on, deeply sad that I will never live on in film as a flesh eating undead monster.
...But then the call comes! October 23rd, Zombie Time!!!
I get to the film set and there is that red headed guy with purple plaid plants from the costume fitting. Weird. A production assistant comes over to me, red head, and other guy...unfortunately they have left our costumes on the other truck, and we need to sit together for the next 45 min while they track down the purple plaid pants etc. Ok, cool. I decide I should probably chat to these guys, but the other guy seems like he may choke on his own tongue and die if he needs to stand and talk, and that vaguely familiar red head is wearing a
Teen Girl Squad shirt...I approve red head guy...I approve.
Over the next month we are stuck sitting and chatting during the 16hr work days on set, but he's cool & nice, and likes to judge random strangers' fashion sense with me...this could be a good thing.
-- 2 years Later --
The Boy: "I was going to ask you later, but you seem like you need cheering up...*presents box* will you marry me?
Me: "...
You asshole. You're going to make me get all girly and cry..."
The Boy:"Um..."
Me:"YES!"
THE END
P.S.
Reader: "I thought this was a superhero origin story...?"
Me: *fidgets nervously* "Yes...um...see below?"
-- 2 years Later --
Then they both got super powers from radioactive bats and fought crime from a secret lair under the sea. They could talk to fish like Aquaman, and could fly like flying fish...They mainly fought illegal overfishing, and uhhh, king crabs?
THE END
